Maria Del Rey's Parenting Blog

MDR posts about the reality of parenting children with vital careers.

Cultivating Modesty

Teach your children a potent lesson about the power of modesty.

In the ego-driven world of “living large”, or “Think big or go home”, it can sometime seem like the word “modesty” belongs to the bygone era. But many great men and women have found that modesty can be a tool of wisdom, especially in a society that so often forgets the boundaries of those who live within it.

The attainment of self control is an almost altruistic mission in our busy, app-filled, ‘I want it immediately, right now’, world. So how do we cultivate control and modesty so we can properly mentor our children?

Take your time with people. Many individuals jump head-first before testing the waters, taking huge risks and asking the important questions later. But for parents, time is our best resource. Your children will see and appreciate your intelligence and learn to trust your opinion when they are adults by practicing this important habit.

People need to earn trust before showing some skin and revealing themselves. One shouldn’t be modest because of fear, or because of some idealogical, culturally oppressive doctrine. Conserving essential life energy so we can preserve ourselves and achieve our goals is the reason we should practice modesty. The verbal diarrhea of thoughtless chatter creates an internal chaos that disrupts your life energy and prevents you form focusing on the important things.

Try to choose our words wisely, with purpose and intent. By eliminating meaningless words from the daily interactions of life, we make space for healing and appropriately affectionate communication.


1. The ability to listen well and gather facts before stating one’s intention with confidence and kindness is a sign of maturity.

2. True empathy and understanding of another individual’s experiences first can dissipate a world of trouble later. Seek to understand others by duplicating the summary of a person’s intention or point of view: “so what I hear you saying is X Y Z”. It helps the tempo of a conversation proceed intelligently, and in a healthy, sustainable way. You don't give away treasures before you can trust others.

3. Creating the habit of thinking clearly before you speak is a powerful ingredient for success. The world around you will seem easier to manage when you take the time to choose words carefully. Never feel compelled to give an answer if you are not ready to do so.

4. Any problem can be avoided by avoiding another person’s drama. Take ample time before sharing yourself with others until it is evident they can be trusted with your true self.


Publisher and Founder of ChildGood Magazine